Specifically, what I’d like to find in a professional web-hosting service:
0. Unix
1. Mathematica, perl, lisp, scheme, ruby
2. server-side includes for *.html
3. ssh access (including rsync)
4. procmail and pine
5. should look like it’s any domain you own (in my case, yootles.com)
6. should be able to handle a slashdotting (and should have ads that turn on when a bandwidth threshold is hit so that as it requires more bandwidth it pays for itself)
7. ideally no downtime ever
8. a program running on the host that has a phone number and can receive text messages and process them
